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Featured, Wellness

Beyond the ‘Thank-You’ Note: Why Being Grateful Is Good for You

Do you ever consciously take a moment to feel thankful for a warm cup of tea or coffee? The blanket that kept you warm last night (or the fan that helped you cool down)? That you woke up at all today? The happiest people in the world don’t necessarily have the most things—but they are grateful for what they do have, especially simple pleasures.

Data backs this up: “Individuals who appreciate simple pleasures should be more prone to experience grateful feelings because they will experience subjective benefits more frequently in their daily life,” say researchers from Eastern Washington University.

Spirituality and happiness also have a “divine control” factor, the study shows: People who feel they’re in control of their own destiny (or get help from a higher power and the people around them) feel the most grateful for what they have. Conversely, people who expect all the good things in their life to come from someone or something else without their own contributions find themselves less grateful when they don’t get what they want and less satisfied with their lives.

Klay Williams, a holistic lifestyle expert, coach and author of There Is Only Plan A: A Journey Toward Self-Discovery and Renewed Purpose, says gratitude helps us in multiple other ways beyond our mood. First, when things don’t go as we planned, it helps us pause and think for a moment about what is actually working in our lives. “It puts everything back in perspective and gives you extra power to move forward to the next step,” he says. “Gratitude gives you this sense of being able to move more freely in the world and being able to not sweat the small stuff.”

Practicing gratitude also helps improve relationships, according to Williams. “It usually sets the tone even when you’re in a space of engaging or needing someone. It creates camaraderie in your relationships.” The Eastern Washington University study supports this as well: Those who were described as “grateful” were more well-liked by others than those described as “ungrateful,” which is perceived as a highly negative trait.

Even better, gratitude is contagious. “It causes other people to self-examine how they are showing up in their personal and professional lives,” Williams says, adding that being grateful is an important element for self-awareness. Even if you’re navigating a negative experience or a terrible day, if you can figure out what you’re thankful for, you can understand what needs improvement and work on that.

Shifting Your Mindset

Gratitude—or ingratitude—isn’t a genetic trait; it’s learned from our parents and those around us and becomes ingrained over time. “It’s something we have to program our minds and our spirits to be able to recognize and to receive,” says Williams. It’s a muscle that becomes more powerful the more we flex it.

But even if you grew up in a household of complainers to become a ninja-level Negative Nellie yourself, you can build a gratitude habit to turn that around.

Williams says the easiest way to do this is to jot down a gratitude list every morning and/or evening, no matter what’s happening in your life, good or bad. “What is it that I’m thankful for in that moment? Going back to these remembrances actually supports us in appreciating things the next day and then the next day.”

He also suggests getting an accountability partner—it can be online, in person or over the phone. For himself, he chose the most pessimistic person he knew to test out his theory. Each week they’d talk about what they were grateful for. And surprisingly, Williams began to positively influence his friend, who started to see situations in a different light.

Williams suggests committing to practice gratitude for a set period of time. The first few days will probably seem amazing. “Maybe on that third or fourth day is when it’s like, ‘Ugh, this stuff doesn’t really work,’” he says. “I really implore people for any new habit, especially with trying to recognize or be in the space of reprogramming ourselves or even adding to our sense of finding gratitude, to give yourself a 21-day plan or perhaps a 30-day plan, and take it one day at time. Allow yourself to be in the space where you can see the full scope of what this exploratory journey is.”

Want help getting started? Try a free guided gratitude meditation from the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.

 

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